Growing Pains

" ... because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in." (Proverbs 3:12)

Growing pains are inevitable. To prepare your son for the future, gradually give him more responsibility and freedom within a boundary that expands when he gets older and older. Take a proactive stance to train your daughter to think and feel. Model healthy ways to communicate and resolve conflicts with your spouse. In an atmosphere of love and acceptance, let each child make mistakes and experience the natural consequences of certain behaviors. Don’t take away all their pains.

Let’s say your son likes tossing baseballs outside. You have asked him to be careful and stay away from windows. One day he breaks your neighbor's window. The old lady gets angry and your son is scared. Encourage him to tell the truth and admit his mistake. Teach him to apologize and to ask for forgiveness. Help him figure out how to pay for repairs from his allowance or by doing extra chores. Love him and don't bail him out. He will learn a valuable lesson of ownership and consideration.

I am not advocating parents to abandon your responsibility or do something dangerous. But some lessons can only be learned on our own. When your teenage daughter does not want to get out of bed for school, remind her but don't take it personally. Let her be late. Sooner or later, her school will warn her of consequences for repeated tardiness. It is better for her to learn to get up on her own now than when she goes to college.

"No pain, no gain!" Parenting takes time, endurance and discipline. Never lose hope!

Copyright © 2005 Parenting ABC