Whose Things Are In Your Mind?

I was pretty calm on May 5. When the doctor said he might have a slot for surgery on May 22, I reminded James that he already bought ticket for June 2 and the gas bubble would mean he had to cancel the trip. James still wanted to go so he took the next available time, i.e. June 10.

Doctor L was very encouraging. “We don’t want him to suffer like last time. We can now better foresee his complications and take specific preventive measures.” At that, the good doctor offered to poke holes in the right eye of James with laser that day.

All right. So may be James is truly in good hands. His new condition (or progressive worsening) is found in a very timely manner. Part of me knew the advantages of surgery, and another part of me wanted to have things under my own control. How about me? I was booked to speak on June 7 and June 14 which would be critical dates pre and post operation.

The safest thing is of course to cancel the June 14 workshops now. But I hate to tell the organizers about the “bad” news. After all, the Mandarin and Cantonese workshops were originally scheduled for December 8 of last year! The Cancer Care groups were very gracious when I told them about James' surgery last time. Although they probably could find other speakers, they said they wanted to wait for me. I am now embarrassed to tell them this is happening again!

Could I trust that the complications would be minimal since doctor L knows James' eye structure and reactions pretty well? Should I go by faith that God will make a way for me to speak on June 14? I thought about it for the next few days, and a Bible study with the elderly fellowship gave me clear direction from Mark 8:29-38.

It started when Jesus asked, "But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?"

Peter immediately answered, "You are the Christ.”

All is good until Jesus started to teach his disciples the reality of being Christ, the Messiah, the Anointed One. But watch what happened when Jesus spoke plainly to his disciples that "the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again" -- Peter took Jesus aside and began to REBUKE him.

Wow. I see myself easily make similar mistake. I want only the good but not the bad from our Savior and Lord. But just like Peter, my perception is distorted and when I doubted His good intention. I too "do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."

Have I forgotten what God could do? Am I once again ready to accept His will? Am I trying to save ourselves using my ways according to my time table?