Panic Attack?

I thought I was doing pretty well in spite of James' upcoming eye surgery. But I was wrong. After working with clients all day on Tuesday, I went home to prepare dinner and eat with James. I did not even feel tired. But just when we were ready to leave for a meeting, my stomach started to turn. My chess tightened. I felt lightheaded, dizzy and nausea. My limbs felt weak and started to sweat. I was short of breath in the car. I told James and our co-workers, "I may be coming down with something." But my symptoms were gone once we sat down and discussed church matters.

I seemed okay on Wednesday too. Then those terrible sensations returned after dinner on our way to prayer meeting. I tried to stay quiet; then I told them I wasn't feeling well. They asked about my symptoms. I felt sick to the stomach when one person joked about me getting pregnant, and I felt worse and worse when others were wondering whether I got the flu virus.

Frustrated, I told them, "I didn't want to come tonight but I wanted to pray with you." Then I heard a sister's gentle voice, "You must be under a lot of pressure." I fought back tears as I nodded. Finally, someone understands. Before long, the tightness from my chest was lifted and I could breathe and pray.

So a panic attack could happen to me! So many things had happened in the last few weeks. I went about helping others and forgot to take care of myself. Is it wrong to feel anxious and afraid when I'm facing uncertainty and pressure? (James' surgery is next Tuesday, I have to take him to pre-op exams, and give the Parenting Talk on Friday!)

This morning in our fellowship, we studied the passage about Jesus walking on the water in a storm (Mark 6:45-56). The Lord said, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." What a timely reminder that Jesus is with us. We can count on Him to take care of us just as he has done before.