Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Quarrelsome Wife?!

I was really mad at myself for running late. I got up early to exercise in the gym. But when I got home, I realized time was tight since I had to rush to Cupertino and then back to Fremont. That's crazy!

As I rushed into the shower, I asked my husband, "Will you pack me a tuna sandwich? Just wrap it in the foil." "Sure!" After I changed, he had already returned to the front of his PC. Casually he mentioned, "I don't want the sandwich to be soggy. I found a small margarine jar and put it there." I imagined a sandwich stuffed into a small jar but I did not say a word.

I ran downstairs and made instant coffee in my thermo cup. As I picked up my lunch, I looked into the brown bag and saw a piece of bread in a sandwich bag by itself. All I uttered was "Ugh!" and he rushed downstairs. "What's the matter?" I didn't have time to say anything. I was overwhelmed but anger was at the top of my stack. "Thank you for being so meticulous." "No, you are angry at me for not doing it your way." That was our last exchange before I left.

Even when I was not "quarreling" with him, he could tell that I was displeased. What was I angry about? I was in a rush and I didn't have time to MAKE a sandwich! I don't mind soggy sandwich. Why does he always have to be so rational? And how did he feel? He felt disrespected. He wanted me to appreciate what he had done -- being ever so thoughtful and helpful.

What a disconnect! My husband probably wanted to live in the attic if we had one.

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (Proverbs 25:24)

Copyright © 2005-2007 Winnis Chiang, Parenting ABC

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