Whose Things Are In Your Mind?

I was pretty calm on May 5. When the doctor said he might have a slot for surgery on May 22, I reminded James that he already bought ticket for June 2 and the gas bubble would mean he had to cancel the trip. James still wanted to go so he took the next available time, i.e. June 10.

Doctor L was very encouraging. “We don’t want him to suffer like last time. We can now better foresee his complications and take specific preventive measures.” At that, the good doctor offered to poke holes in the right eye of James with laser that day.

All right. So may be James is truly in good hands. His new condition (or progressive worsening) is found in a very timely manner. Part of me knew the advantages of surgery, and another part of me wanted to have things under my own control. How about me? I was booked to speak on June 7 and June 14 which would be critical dates pre and post operation.

The safest thing is of course to cancel the June 14 workshops now. But I hate to tell the organizers about the “bad” news. After all, the Mandarin and Cantonese workshops were originally scheduled for December 8 of last year! The Cancer Care groups were very gracious when I told them about James' surgery last time. Although they probably could find other speakers, they said they wanted to wait for me. I am now embarrassed to tell them this is happening again!

Could I trust that the complications would be minimal since doctor L knows James' eye structure and reactions pretty well? Should I go by faith that God will make a way for me to speak on June 14? I thought about it for the next few days, and a Bible study with the elderly fellowship gave me clear direction from Mark 8:29-38.

It started when Jesus asked, "But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?"

Peter immediately answered, "You are the Christ.”

All is good until Jesus started to teach his disciples the reality of being Christ, the Messiah, the Anointed One. But watch what happened when Jesus spoke plainly to his disciples that "the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again" -- Peter took Jesus aside and began to REBUKE him.

Wow. I see myself easily make similar mistake. I want only the good but not the bad from our Savior and Lord. But just like Peter, my perception is distorted and when I doubted His good intention. I too "do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."

Have I forgotten what God could do? Am I once again ready to accept His will? Am I trying to save ourselves using my ways according to my time table?

Just When I Thought Things Were Settled

When James saw his doctor on January 11, we heard good news. His left eye was recovering very well. A 3-month follow-up appointment was set, and our lives returned to normal. I gave six workshops at BASS in March and started accepting new speaking engagements when it was clear that we would be staying in the Bay Area.

Imagine our surprise when James saw his eye doctor on April 21. Although the OCT scans showed that his left eye was healed, the vitreous sack of his right eye was now clearly pulling his retina!

The following weekend, I attended a four-day conference for professional therapists in the business of helping couples. Then I went straight to work at Fremont. When I got home on Tuesday night, James casually mentioned, “My right eye started seeing wavy instead of straight lines.”

He waited for a few days (hoping his vision would improve on its own). Finally, he sent an e-mail to his doctor. We got an appointment almost immediately for the following Monday. We went in on May 5, and a new OCT scan showed a very tiny macular hole in his right eye.

How could that be? Even though we SAW how elongated his right eye had become, even though we SAW how his retina was being stressed and pulled, how could it happen so soon?

The timing is NOT right! We are making new plans for our church, James would be traveling one week in June, many co-workers would be away this summer, and I recently scheduled speaking engagements at various churches and organizations for the next six months. I repeated "Not Now" to myself and in prayers. Then it dawned on me. If not now, when?

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under Heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

Another Car Trouble?

When I returned home on Tuesday April 29, James told me his right eye was seeing wavy lines. The news did not really sink in. We had to hurry off to a co-workers' meeting. Afterwards, I still had to prepare something before Thursday, May 1.

I really had many things on my mind for the next two days. For one thing, we were starting a new series on “Three Generations” on Thursday morning; for another thing, I was giving a workshop in Thursday evening about “Stress During Martial Conflicts” at another church.

I eagerly jumped into our car after the Wednesday evening prayer meeting. Oops, I could not start it. We changed seats quickly so James could try. No luck. He called AAA and we waited for someone to rescue us. What I learned from the Couples Conference was still fresh in my mind, so I decided to stay calm and enjoy the opportunity of some one-on-one time with James.

The first AAA guy showed up within half-an-hour. Thank God! He set out to charge our battery. It did not work. After checking something he declared, “Your battery may be fine. I have to call someone else. Wait here." So he left and we waited.

The second guy came in another half-an-hour. Within a few minutes, we heard, “Your battery is fine. It is probably your starter. We need to tow you.” Just as he was saying that, his phone rang. “It’s the CHP. There is an accident! I need to go immediately. Wait here. I’ll find someone else to help you.”

James and I talked some more. Around 10:30 p.m., a big tow truck arrived. The third guy was big and tall. “I came from Fremont so it took some time.” He checked our car and shook his head. He tilted the flatbed and lowered a big chain. He hooked the chain to the bottom of our car's back end. Then he asked James to get in, put the car in neutral, and turn the wheels. I watched in amazement how this big guy pushed our car up the flatbed of his tow truck. Finally off we went. By the time James wrote a note and dropped our key off at a nearby repair shop, it was already 11 p.m.

We lost two hours and had only one car to use the next morning. Luckily we were able to arrange rides to pick people up. We started our new series on time. By late afternoon, our car was fixed. We arrived my workshop without delay.

Car troubles happen to everyone from time to time. Wouldn't it be nice if our car starter lasts forever, our battery never runs out, and there are no nails on the road? How about our life?

To the woman at the well, Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water" (John 4:13-15).